When hope is lost what does a person have left to hold on to? As I write this, I face what looks like the perfect storm. Everything that can go wrong has and what looked like a light was nothing more than the light surrounding a black hole. This is how I feel, and there is nothing wrong with a person expressing how they feel and the pain thereof, but my story will not end this way so read on and you as I will see the light of encouragement if you just hold on until the end of my story.
For those who always need to be positive and hide from the reality of this journey called life, maybe this really is not for you to embrace or understand because for the vast majority of this world its a struggle and a constant learning experience from our trials and tribulations.
I’m a very optimistic person by nature. I possess a nack to find the positive in just about every experience I’ve ever faced bad or good. However, I’m also a realist in that I will not candy coat the struggle nor the pain because it’s real and an essential part of life and who we are as human beings. Nor will I paint myself in a better picture then were I am at in life because to do so I would be hiding from the truth and living a lie or another way to express it I would mainly be disingenuous to myself and others.
I don’t understand the why right now. I don’t know why the feeling of being alone is deafening right now. I don’t know why I feel abandoned and forlorn. These feelings are real, and it reflects the deep pain of my struggle as I try to make sense of the battle and fight that is before me.
The truth is I want relief and long for normality, peace, and for it to be over and done with, and I long for genuine companionship by one who is my equal.
So much I am going through and the scale of it only a select few know all the details to. While others only see the breadcrumbs, I’m willing to share for fear of complete rejection and dismay. Not everyone needs to know the totality of a thing because it’s not meant for all.
Friends vary by degrees, but that is ok because no matter where a person is in life, not all friends can be the identical same as the other because there are so many defining factors that make us uniquely different and therefore we all cannot be the same as the next.
The amazing part of it all is that we are still called and cherished as friends no matter what degree a friend we are to one another. The critical element to take to heart is that when called upon a real friend will always be there for you no matter what cost because of their love for you and the timing is right for them to share your struggle and help you through it.
I share these things because I know and have talked to so many people that have and are going through some rather incredible trials in life and it is not always easy to express that struggle in sharing it. Sometimes they need someone else to put it into words for them so they can be comforted to know they’re not alone in the struggle and trials when all seems to go terribly wrong and all hope is just about lost.
I have so much that I am facing right now and the magnitude of it is unbearable to the point I can barely keep my thoughts straight but there are times of clarity which does allow me to express my pain and sorrow either through writing or poetry and it is with these mediums I desire to encourage others who share a similar journey.
I say journey because it encompasses the totality of life, both great and small, ease and pain, tears and joy. We’re more than conquerors because we embrace it with a willing heart and mind to learn and grow. In the end, this causes us to become a more rounded person by defining character and that my fellow journeyman and friend is what our world needs more of to make it a better place to live.
Let us never stop learning from lifes pain because after all gold is not at it’s purest till after it’s past through the fire of refinement and the dross be removed. My friend we are the gold and the fire is the trials of our life and the dross our imperfections, therefore embrace, learn and grow.
Bradford Lee Mace